Rosh Hashanah Resolutions

Rosh Hashanah Resolutions: God, please help me to stop eating chocolate.



Shan Tova Lachem

You should all be blessed with a year of laughter...



To help along, as the machzor doesn't include this...here are ROSH HASHANA RESOLUTIONS YOU WILL MAKE IN SHUL:

I will learn how to lead services. This Chazin is taking too long.

I will give more for the Rabbi’s Yizkur Appeal if his speech is shorter.

I will get a better seat in shul next year. I will save up money and purchase a cushioned seat. I did not realize I would be sitting here for thirty-five hours these High Holidays.

I will devote my life to peace on earth, if we can get out of the services now.

If the guy is able to blow the shofar for more than twenty seconds, I will not get extremely excited and show my watch to everybody.

I will not eat anymore for the whole holiday season. I feel disgusting, having to eat three meals a day, with brisket and kugel in each one.

I will not eat chocolate on Yom Kippur.



New Year' means it's time for resolutions (not vows, as those aren't allowed)...Not eating chocolate is a necessary resolution all must make. What else can you resolute? My article attached is here to help you with more resolutions that you can make while sitting in shul (click the link above)



***To share more laughter and perspective this year, show your love and join David Kilimnick on Facebook